Here I am sitting in Te Papa Museum on a very rainy and
windy Sunday afternoon in Wellington. Te Papa has served as a refuge for me
these past couple weeks. It is here that I am confronted with people of all ages,
very young and old. The parents parade through the exhibits with their young
children screaming in excitement of the large and strange place filled with
animal skeletons, interactive learning games and gift shops packed to the brim
with toys. It has proven to be one of my favorite places here in Wellington.
Aside from it being free, indoors, educational, and busy, I am always surprised
how all of these things together could make a very relaxing place. It certainly
is a thriving museum. Currently, Andy Warhol has an exhibit on the 5th
floor that looks amazing. I have yet to go to. Likewise, there are some
exciting things are still being discovered about Maori folklore, tradition and
history! This place reminds me of the good in humans. The care I see in the
parents’ eyes as their children run about gives off a special glow. It is a
warm feeling which is certainly refreshing from the (Ice) Cube Hall.
My residential complex is cold. Not only temperature wise but
also the way the college students behave. From what I have witnessed so far,
the college life here is raw, sometimes obvious and vulgar. It is shocking
how different the Christian idea of community differs from the rest of the
worlds. Wendell Berry writes that a proper community is established when all
its members co-exist and sustain each other not only physically, but
relationally, spiritually, socially, and academically. Support here is his key
word, something which is fundamentally lacking here. Therefore the Cube is cold
in more ways than just one. I am trying to connect with little success. It is a
trying time for me, but my spirits remain upbeat and ready for what God is
teaching me through this. I see nothing of what I am doing an accident.
Everything I have been a part of, seen, or heard of, is happening for a reason.
I just need to remember what lense I am looking through. It is sort of my
version of the HNGR program at Wheaton. I have established a program with
specific goals in mind, found a place to work and people to be with. The
challenges I have seen so far have been difficult and wearing on my soul but I
can tell it’s making me stronger. The world is a dark place out there; I am
trying to find the light. There are glimmers out there, which give me much
hope.
Yet all is well. Classes begin
tomorrow and I am most certainly looking forward to getting into a routine. I
am excited for what new ideas come to mind, art wise, and how I can apply them
toward my senior show at Wheaton upon my arrival back home. The key to thinking
artistically is to not try too hard. If you over think things or try to become
someone else, the ideas are superficial and pass quickly. Understand where you
are, what you see, feel, smell, taste, and touch. If you can tap into the
senses with the right mindset, creativity flows and time slows. It reminds me
of the newest film starring Will Smith and his son Jaden called After Earth.
The act of taking a knee, as seen in the movie and photo above, and
deeply centering yourself in the present environment, I believe, enhances your
vision of where Christ is working. And
where Christ is working, art surely follows. It is a constant battle,
however, a war rages in my mind. On one side I am trying to balance and center
myself (taking a knee) and on the other, great expectations set upon me, by
myself and others, to make great things are increasing and the pressure is on.
I am thinking to hard. I think the key is to stop tugging at my mind and
scraping for new art ideas and to settle down and focus on what is in front of
me. Much like the Chinese finger puzzle, I need to stop tugging outwards and
focus inwards to understand anything.
I don’t know if anything I have
said makes any sense, but hopefully if this reaches a few peoples hearts, if
not just my own, I would see this journal as a tremendous success. Alongside
passages from the Bible, I try to remind myself of something I wrote (a
personal art thesis) to keep me centered, watching, and thinking upbeat:
“To be frank, I believe that there
are instances where humans become so extraordinary that they can do nothing
less than reflect perfect divinity.
Those fleeting and rare moments are so familiar and foreign to us that we are
by our very nature drawn to them. Whether by aesthetic beauty or spiritual
conviction, I wish to capture those precious ephemeral moments in my art.”
-2012
